Soul Of Creation

2005-01-25T18:51:00.000-08:00

LONG TIME NO SEE...

"How can we still succeed, taking what we don't need?
Telling lies, alibis, selling all the hate that we breed.
And we're all to blame,
We've gone too far,
From pride to shame,
We're trying so hard,
We're dying in vain,
We're hopelessly blissful and blind
To all we are,
We want it all with no sacrifice!"

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope you had a great X-mas too ;)

So anyways... Life is stressful as always. So instead of making a long post bitching about what's been going on, I'll just give you a general idea.

1. School...omg school is hard!
2. College classes (on top of still being in high school)...need I say more?
3. Prom is coming!! Ack!
4. I have a contest this Saturday. Haven't practiced.
5. Referring to item 3...I like Lizzy...and Lisa!! omg my head hurts...
6. My dad...well he's about to die..literally...

On a different note.

I got this E-mail from my friend John Mark Davis in college and I thought it would be cool to post on this blog. (btw this is the version I sent to my contacts)

Hi everyone, This is a chain letter but it's ok to read it because there isn't anything at the bottom that's going to curse you or anything. Go ahead and read through it and then fill in your own answers and send it back to me and anyone else you want to. Waiting to hear from you all, Michael Rene De Leon

1) What time do you get up?

6 A.M. every morning, even on weekends.

2) If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?

Any of my friends. Company is good :)

3) Gold/silver?

Silver, I hate gold...

4) What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

White Noise.

5) What is/are your favorite T.V. shows?

Anime Unleashed, and Degrassi.

6) What did you have for breakfast?

Cereal!!!!

7) Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?

Melissa, a VERY annoying Freshman at school.

8) Who inspires you?

Two people. Elizabeth and GOD.

9) What is your middle name?

Rene

10) Beach, City or Country?

Beach. I wouldn't swim though, I just like the sunsets.

11). Favorite ice cream?

Strawberry.

12). Butter, plain or salted popcorn?

Butter.

13). Favorite color?

Blue, of course.

14). What kind of car do you drive?

1991 Cougar LS

15). Favorite sandwich?

Ham with tomato and lettuce on wheat, and mayo. No cheese.

16). What characteristic do you despise?

Negativity and hypocrisy.

17). Favorite flowers?

I don't have one. I'll accept them though.

18). Where would you like to go on vacation?

Anywhere with some of my friends.

19). What color is your bathroom?

White. What's this question got to do with anything?

20). Favorite brand of clothing?

Whatever's comfortable.

21). Where are you going to retire?

I'd go to Japan, but eventually go to a more quiet place.

22). Favorite day of the week?

Saturdays. No school, and I do my homework on Sunday :)

23). What did you do for your last birthday?

A CD player, which broke a few days later.

24). Where were you born?

Lamesa, Texas.

25). Favorite sport to watch?

I hate sports.

26). Who do you least expect to send this back to you?

Ashely

27) Who do you expect to send this back first?

Elizabeth or Jonathan.

28). What fabric detergent do you use?

I don't...wait..I don't know..

29). Coke or Pepsi?

Dr. Pepper!

30). Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Both. I'm often times awake til 3 A.M. but I wake up at 6 A.M.

31). What is your shoe size?

9 1/2

32). Do you have any pets?

I used to have 3 cats...

33). What is your favorite season?

Winter, because of the dark shades of the sky. It's beautiful.

34). What time is it?

9:15 P.M.

35). Name as it appears on birth certificate?

Michael Rene De Leon

36). Nicknames?

In real life, just Mike. On the net, soultaker21x or -Mystic-

37). Number of candles on your last birthday cake?

I didn't get a cake..

38). Kids?

Maybe, if I ever get married.

39). Hair color?

Jet black.

40). Piercing?

None

41). Tattoos?

None

42). Eye color?

Dark brown

43). How much do you love your job?

On a scale of 1 - 10. 9, the only perfect "10" job would be no job xD

44.) Residence?

P.O. Box 311, 701 N. 12 Apt B, Lamesa, TX 79331

45). Favorite Food?

Chinese or Seafood.

46). Ever been to Africa?

Nope, but I'd go if I had a opportunity to go.

47). Been toilet papering?

Nope.

48). Have you ever been in love?

Yeah, I'm in love right now. She doesn't know. LoL

49). Been in a car accident?

Uh..One was when my dad ran into a van in Big Spring while we were going to the eye doctor.

50). Croutons or bacon bits?

Bacon bits.

51). Favorite saying or phrase?

I'm a bum. What do you want from me?

52). Favorite restaurant?

Sonic.

53). Favorite non-alcoholic drink?

Orange soda, or Sprite.

54.) How many times did you fail your driver's test?

Zero

55.) Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?

Jerry Stewart.

56.) Do you sing in the shower?

No!

57.) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

I wouldn't.

58.) What do you do most when you are bored?

If I'm at home, I'll listen to music or play Conquer. Anywhere else...I'd....uhh...

59.) Bedtime?

What's this bedtime that you speak of?

60.) Glass half empty or half full?

Full.

61.) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you be?

Japan or Spain.

62.) Time you finished this e-mail?

9:23 P.M.

DIRECTIONS: Now, here's what you're supposed to do....and DON'T spoil the fun! Copy and paste the entire email into a new email. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send it to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to the person that sent it to you.

So I just want to challenge all of you. (I hope you are all alive...) to make a blog version of this and post it!

Well, later, I have homework...lol

2004-11-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

I AM STILL ALIVE

Just decided to come back for awhile...

Life is great...and not great...lol what's new?

I got into NHS=Nat'l Honor Society!!! (I'm so smart!!) xDD

I have a gf...yes I'm not lying lol.

I'm no longer living w/ my dad, I'm living w/ my friend's lol...getting passed around..

[Part 1: Jesus of Suburbia]
I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be I
n a land of make believe
That don't believe in me
Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room in my private womb
While the moms and dads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

[Part 2: City Of The Damned]
At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot
Of the 7-11 were I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time
City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care
I read the graffiti
In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth
Is the end of the world
And I could really care less
City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care!!!!

[Part 3: I don't care]
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
I don't care!!

Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care!
I don't care!

[Part 4: Dearly beloved]
Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

[Part 5: Tales of another broken home]
To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist
So I run I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time
I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize
When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...

Man, life is great!! Don't ever commit suicide...it's not worth it, no matter how down things get...believe me it can't get much worse than what I've been through.

I'm back...be ready for more mayhem...and I love you all!!

2004-10-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

ONE

I can't remember anything
Can't tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops me

Now that the war is through with me
I'm waking up I can not see
That there is not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me!!!!

Back in the womb it's much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
But can't look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I'll live

Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, wake me!!!!
Now the world is gone I'm just one
Oh God, help me hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God, help me

Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell

Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell

2004-10-05T04:29:00.000-07:00

ON MY OWN??

I'm in a hurry so to make a long post short...My dad is paying the rent on the apartment, and I pay half of all bills. I get $300 a month...about $200 left over after bills are paid. I'm like is this a punishment or an award!!

Song of the day:

I don't need no arms around me
And I don't need no drugs to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need anything at all.
No! Don't think I'll need anything at all.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

Daddy's gone across the ocean,
Leaving just a memory,
A snapshot in the family album.
Daddy, what else did you leave for me?
Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me!?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall.
All in all it was just the bricks in the wall.

We don't need no education.
We don't need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you’re just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education.
We don't need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teachers, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

I don't need no walls around me.
And I don't need no drugs to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need any thing at all.
No. Don't think I need anything at all!
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all I was just another brick in the wall.

Goodbye cruel world,
I’m leaving you today.
Goodbye...Goodbye...Goodbye.
Goodbye all you people.
There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind.....Goodbye...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------Pink Floyd

2004-09-30T14:06:00.000-07:00

DON'T FEEL LIKE BLOGGING...

Hey people, I might not blog for while, then again I might ....depends on how I feel...

My head hurts
The bump throbs
My tongue keeps messing with the gap in my teeth
...I taste blood
My heart hurts....spiritually I'm broken
I'm poor...more poor than a man with no money

I will try to keep visiting you guys..but no promises, if I don't visit you, I'm still here, just not here...

God...please make my dad go away....

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
What creates my own madness
And I'm addicted to your punishment
And you're the master
And I am waiting for disaster
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth I am
Getting away with murder
It isn't possible
To ever tell the truth
But the reality is I'm getting away with murder
I drink my drink and I don't even want to
I think my thoughts when I don't even need to
I never look back cause I don't even want to
And I don't need to
Because I'm getting away with murder

2004-09-25T17:41:00.000-07:00

WEIRD DREAM

Well...like the title says, I had a really weird dream...

I go to school and everything is normal. We have an assembly or pep rally, not really sure, but everyone ends up going to the auditorium. This is when things just get well....strange...

I'm sitting by Lizzy and Jonathan, the principal, Mr. Davis, is standing on the platform in the front of everyone. He starts talking but I'm not paying attention thuu to the fact that I'm busy talking w/ Lizzy ;). A burst of blue light appears on the roof of the school. Someone screams "BOMB!!" And people run and jump over seats heading toward the exits. I get separated from Jonathan and Lizzy. I run w/ the crowd jumping over seats, seeing people fall down, while others run over them... finally I fall down.... I feel some one step on my head...everything goes black...

Then I'm in Kevin's body, I see my own body, and try to help myself. I hear people around me screaming, then I notice people just stopped. No noise anymore, just staring, staring at the hole in the ceiling. The blue light is still there..like a blob, pulsating. Suddenly laser like lights shoot down and 'dissolve' people for lack of a better word. I see my own body get 'dissolved', screw it, I (Kevin) try to run, but I get caught by one of the lights.

Bright light, that's all I see. I'm in my own body again. I hear people all around me but all I see is white. We make teams, and holding hands, start moving around feeling the wall--we can't see, trying to find a way out of this place. I hear a girl scream, and a WHOOSH!!! The person's hand that I'm holding slips out of mine and I hear the familiar WHOOSH!!!. I feel a suction pulling me toward where that person was. I fall. "HOLY HELL!!" I'm blinded by the sudden darkness, I feel myself falling. BAM! ouch...I hit the ground...All around me I see blue lightning strikes hit the ground and people appearing where they hit. I see Lizzy and run toward her. She come to, and sees me. We kiss....THEN I WAKE UP!!! Man, wtf I wanna know what else happens!!! ARG!

Yes, weird dream I have...lol

2004-09-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

SETTLE FOR NOTHIN'

A jail cell is freedom from the pain in my home
Hatred passed on, passed on and passed on
A world of violent rage
But it's one that I can recognize
Having never seen the color of my father's eyes
Yes, I dwell in hell, but it's a hell that I can grip
I tried to grip my family
But I slipped

To escape from the pain in an existence mundane
I got a 9, a sign, a set and now I got a name

Read my writing on the wall
No one's here to catch me when I fall
Death is on my side....suicide!

If we don't take action now
We settle for nothing later
Settle for nothing now
And we'll settle for nothing later

2004-09-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

THIS FREAKING SUCKS!!!

(warning: this is gonna have a lot of bad words)

Hmm... not what you are thinking, Lizzy did say yes to going with me to homecoming. What could possibly be wrong then you say? Two words-- My dad. Yes he snapped again...

Michael: Ok, dad I'm going to homecoming now. (he had said yes earlier, keep that in mind)
Dad: Hell no you aren't! Yes your fucking ass back in here.
Michael: But I'm going with Lizzy, and you already said yes. *calm voice*
Dad: I don't give a shit! You aren't going.
Michael: But..but *starting to get mad*
Dad: I'm sick and tired of you damn shit! I know what you're doing! What do you think I'm a fucking dumbass!? Damn it get in here, come here!!
(My dad slaps me across the face, yes I snapped then)
Michael: What the hell do you hit me for!?
Dad: Don't tell me shit I can hit you whenever I want! Get to your damn room!!

Hmm.. Can you say child abuse?

Meanwhile, Lisa, another friend of mine is in the hospital, apparently her dad hit here little too hard.... She got sent in Thursday night, and is still there. Every thing is going right!!! *sarcasm*

Man what's wrong with parents!?

I called Lizzy last night to tell her what happened and why I couldn't go. She forgave me so that's one good thing in a bleak time.

For those of you who are religious, pray for Lisa, who has a head injury. Pray for me, who is being abused. Pray for Lizzy who has a patient heart. Pray for my dad, hopefully he'll go back to his old self, before the Jehovah Witnesses showed up...

2004-09-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

OMG HERE IS MY CHANCE!?

Today is the homecoming parade! All I am saying is that Lizzy wants to see me after the parade to "ask me something." :p

More details tommorow, I'll either be very happy =D . . .or very sad ='(

2004-09-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

DID YOU FEEL THE MOUNTAINS TREMBLE?

Yesterday: It was a great day! Some of the few I have now a days. . . Anyways, it was great cause, me and Lisa got to play together on Bongos, Djembe, and other "exotic" drums for Youth Band. I really liked the new song we were working on called "Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?" Hehe, I love that song!

Also the sermon from our band director, Mr. Kirby was really great. I think it showed what most "Christians" are like--hypocrites. He was talking about an incident where a student (non-religious) went before a "Christian" audience and talked about starvation.

"More than 30,000 people are dying everyday of starvation, while you live in a cormfortable home! And the thing is that you Christians don't give a *Fuck* Instead of being out there helping your here, 'ministering'. But you know what's really worse than that!? When you walk out this door today, your gonna worry more about the word *fuck* that I said, than about the 30,000 people that died."

Yea, that was awesome.

Later, me and Jonathan,Raime, Lisa and some others went to Raime's house to watch Godsend It's a movie about an 8 yr. old kid named Adam that gets killed on his birthday! A doctor offers to clone him, but things go way wrong, a really recommend it for rental if you ever have time.

Today: Man, schoold as usual. . only 7th period was different. It was plant I.D. class and I was talking with Lizzy (damn, I still love her :p). She was talking about homecoming and how no one has asked her out. How stupid can I be!!! There was my chance, but I let it slip. . .

Well, I'm tired and got homework, so laters.

2004-09-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

HELLO AGAIN!!

Hi all. I hope you all got my invitation and took it to come back to my world.

I've had alot of troubles in the past weeks. I was in and out of Boy's Ranch. One of my friends almost committed suicide. My "love" found her true mate (not me) My dad. . .well, he is still Jehovah Witness obsessed. So, yea same old, same old, lol. . . I had to kinda force myself back into blog world. You see someone discovered my blog, and let's just say he ruined my life for the most part. But I'm not letting that bring me down.

SO I AM BACK!! WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!

Also, hope you like the new skin, if you have any suggestions what so ever, please let me know.

It's a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care makes me want to say
It's a beautiful world
Oh what a beautiful world
For you
It's a wonderful time to be here
It's nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair makes me want to say
It's a wonderful place
Oh what a wonderful place
For you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, not me

Welcome back to my world, take a seat, and get comfortable, cause you're in for quite a ride.